One of the most devastating realities survivors of narcissistic abuse face is the confusion that follows cruel behavior. You replay the moment over and over in your mind, trying to make sense of why someone who claimed to love you could hurt you so deliberately.
Here’s the truth: they knew exactly what they were doing.
A narcissist studies you — they learn your compassion, your patience, your willingness to forgive. And then, they weaponize it.
What feels confusing to you was, to them, calculated. The lack of empathy isn’t a glitch in who they are — it’s a feature. And when you try to rationalize their cruelty, you only chain yourself tighter to the cycle of abuse.
The path forward is not found in trying to understand their behavior. It’s found in reclaiming your own clarity, your own empathy, your own power. Once you recognize that the confusion was engineered, you can finally step out of the fog and begin healing.
You deserve peace. You deserve freedom. And you deserve to live without the burden of someone else’s cruelty resting on your shoulders.
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