Gaslighting: Protecting Their Reality
When children are gaslit, they don’t just question facts — they learn to distrust themselves. That wound can follow them for life if we don’t intervene.
Narcissists twist even a child’s small mistakes into “proof” they can’t trust their memory. They interrupt, override, and inject doubt until the child believes silence is safer than truth. This is not discipline. This is erasure. And it leaves scars deeper than we see.
Your role as protector is not to argue with the abuser in front of your child. It’s to anchor your child back to reality with calm repetition, validation, and safety. Children heal when they hear: “I believe you. Here’s what I saw. Let’s figure it out together.”
Every time you create a micro-win — a three-minute game where the child succeeds and you record it, a test paper saved with their name in their own hand — you’re building evidence against the lie. You’re teaching them: “Your eyes and your voice matter.” That is the antidote to gaslighting.
Do this today (10–15 minutes each):
- Mirror and validate: “I hear you. Here’s what I saw. Let’s test it together.”
- Turn learning into a micro-win game (3 minutes) and record the success.
- Save school artifacts — assignments, drawings, tests — in a dated folder.
- Script one interference line: “Please let her answer on her own.”
Journal prompts:
- What micro-win can I celebrate with my child this week?
- What does safety look like for my child in daily life?
- Where can I step in with a protective script?
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Stay powerful—your healing starts here.
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