Covert Narcissist: Flying Monkeys and Outsourced Attacks
The covert narcissist rarely dirties their own hands. Instead, they send others—the “flying monkeys”—to do the work of confusion, intimidation, and smear.
This tactic keeps their mask clean while you look like the problem. Friends, coworkers, even family can be recruited to question you, corner you, or pressure you back into silence. It’s manipulation by proxy—and it’s meant to leave you isolated and outnumbered.
But the truth is this: those monkeys only carry weight if you keep responding. You don’t need to fight every messenger. You need to recognize the pattern, cut off their access to your energy, and build a circle that knows your side of the story.
Every time you refuse to chase the lies, every time you step back from the performance, you weaken the narcissist’s strategy. Your power is in clarity, not in combat. Let your evidence, your calm, and your truth dismantle the show they’ve staged.
Do this today (10–15 minutes each):
- List who delivers the “messages” for the narcissist—recognize the pattern.
- Draft one neutral response line: “Thank you, I’ll address this directly with them.”
- Save receipts of indirect attacks (texts, social posts, voicemails).
- Choose one ally and brief them calmly on the pattern you’ve noticed.
Journal prompts:
- Who have I noticed repeating their words for them?
- What would it feel like to disengage from the messengers?
- Which ally can I trust to hear my truth without distortion?
Want to tell your story on Survivor Stories Saturday? Email [email protected].
Stay powerful—your healing starts here.
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