Self-Blame Was a Survival Strategy
As a child, you learned to turn the knife inward because pointing it outward was too dangerous. You blamed yourself to make sense of chaos you couldn’t control. “If it’s my fault,” your young mind reasoned, “then maybe I can fix it.” That was never weakness — that was your nervous system trying to keep you alive in an unsafe world.
You were surrounded by adults who refused accountability, so you became the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the emotional translator for people twice your size and half your honesty. They didn’t need you to heal — they needed you to hold their pain. And when you did, they called it love. That confusion still lingers in your bones, whispering that your worth is tied to someone else’s comfort.
Reflect:
– When did you first start taking responsibility for things beyond your control?
– What did self-blame protect you from seeing?
– What does compassion for that version of you look like today?
Pause before you write.
Let honesty replace shame.
You weren’t weak — you were surviving.
✨ Your healing starts when you stop carrying what was never yours.
In November, we break free.
Visit thechurchofrealtalk.com/break-free →
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