You don’t keep going back because you don’t understand.

You don’t keep going back because you don’t understand.

You keep going back because your body learned something your mind never consented to. Long before you had clarity, your nervous system memorized relief, fear, silence, and reconciliation as a survival sequence.

That’s why logic doesn’t work here. Logic lives in the cortex. Trauma bonds live below that — in muscle memory, breath, and threat response.

So when you try to “be strong,” your body doesn’t hear strength. It hears danger. And it pulls you back toward identified familiarity.

Missing them doesn’t mean you were wrong. It means your nervous system hasn’t been updated yet.

This is not a moral failure. It’s conditioning.

INTERRUPTION EXERCISE (DO NOT SKIP)
Place both feet on the floor. Press them down gently. Now name—out loud or silently—three sensations in your body. Not emotions. Sensations.

This is where the bond actually lives.