Respect is not something you earn by suffering. It is not the reward for how much you endure, how quiet you stay, or how many chances you give. Respect is the baseline. It is the ground level of any connection that is truly safe for your soul. The moment you have to debate whether you deserve it, you already have your answer.

People who genuinely care about you do not need to be convinced to treat you well. They don’t need a slideshow presentation on your worth. They don’t need a detailed explanation of why certain words or behaviors hurt you. When you speak up, they adjust. When you draw a line, they honor it. When you say “this doesn’t feel okay,” they lean in instead of lashing out.

But people who feel entitled to you will always treat your boundaries and your need for respect as a problem to be fixed. They’ll say you’re “too sensitive,” “too much,” or “always starting something.” They’ll twist your request for basic humanity into an accusation that you’re difficult. They will confuse your clarity with disrespect, because they are used to your silence.

So you start to negotiate with yourself. Maybe you are asking for too much. Maybe you should just let that comment slide. Maybe you shouldn’t bring it up this time. You downplay your own hurt so you can keep the relationship standing. But every time you swallow what you feel to keep someone else comfortable, you’re not keeping the peace — you’re keeping the lie.

The truth is simple: love without respect is not love — it’s access. It’s access to your time, your body, your energy, your gifts, without the responsibility of honoring you as a whole person. You deserve more than that. You deserve to be in rooms where your “no” is heard the first time. Where your feelings are not cross-examined. Where your dignity is non-negotiable.

“If they don’t respect your ‘no,’ they don’t deserve your ‘yes.’”